I ended up not posting for….two weeks…? Sorry about that! School’s been busy and I’ve been lazy. But, now it’s March Break, and I shall return by taking a look at in Episode 2 of Konobi! If you don’t know what this is all about, this post is part of a WordPress collab that Yomu started a while back.
So yes, I’m doing the same thing as last time—exposing the dark underbelly of everything in This Art Club Has a Problem! This is Detective Y, on the case!
Wait wait wait! This is a romcom anime! There aren’t any crimes being committed here.
Hah! Naive, you are! In episode 2, the darkest of crimes has been committed in the club room. Just look at this photo:
Did you even watch the beginning of the episode? The president
is lying there because—
Because he is dead! Yes, I know. I have seen many a dead body in my career. I know when somebody is dead!
In order to solve this crime, one must take into account the victims enemies. Remember episode one, when the president took a panty shot of Usami? And you remember Usami’s psychopathic tendencies being revealed there, as she attempted to murder the president right then and there with a baseball bat?
Yes. We all learned that Usami was a psychopathic killer. So coming into this episode, we knew she wouldn’t be averse to getting a little bloody.
It’s just there for comedic effect! She’s not actually trying to kill the
Ha! Once again, you are looking at things much to shallowly! In this day and age when blood and gore are all over the internet, it appears the average human fails to realize what a murderer is! Oh, how I lament this new generation!
Fine. Then how do you explain this: Usami can’t kill the president
because she was walking with her friends at the beginning of the
episode! So even if we pretend that the president is dead and play
murder mystery, your entire case falls apart!
Why, how perceptive of you! I was just getting to that!
Although Usami seems the most likely to commit the crime, having a strong motive, she also has a strong alibi. From the warmth that still radiated from the body, and the freshness of the blood, a great detective such as I can surmise that the president must’ve died immediately after classes ended—Usami was with her friends at the time!
It’s paint! It’s freaking paint! Ugh, I give up.
However, shortly before the body was discovered, Subaru was in fact standing outside the club room, suspiciously covering the door.
Why, a coincidence indeed! Subaru just happens to be standing awkwardly in front of the door to the crime scene, as if he doesn’t want anybody to see it! Now, allow us to do a quick background check of Suspect no. 2, Subaru:
He’s known to be a pedophile, with a penchant for tricking young girls to follow him with his drawings. He is also well-known to have a taste for drawing young girls in a suspiciously suggestive manner:
Obviously, an extremely suspicious person. And yet, still, we are uncertain; what motive would Subaru have had to kill the president, a panty-shot dealer who we know that Subaru depended on for a continuous supply of underwear design ideas.
So a great detective such as I has to beg the question: why would Subaru kill his supplier? The answer?
Which leaves only one conclusion. If both Usami and Subaru didn’t commit the crime…It must be suicide.
The president isn’t even dead!
Think about it! The president has been depressed for a while now. He spends most of his time sleeping, and he’s lost interest in all of his hobbies…two symptoms of depression. He’s lost all hope in life, and now he’s finally ended it. Farewell, president. Sleep well ;-;
He didn’t commit suicide and he’s not depressed!
This case was tough, but I, detective Y, with my amazingly sharp intellect, has solved yet another crime!
You didn’t solve anything!
Detective Y, the best detective in the world, even better than Hercule Poirot, signing off!
Hercule Poirot is so much better!